Summer...wait for me!

I'm feeling pretty stressed today.  We'll be traveling on and off over the next month and I've got a lot on my mind. Working from home means I get to see my kids more often and have a lot more flexibility with writing/play/chores but at the same time it means multi-tasking is usually the norm.

To do list:

• Finish a variety of work-related projects...articles, newsletters, publicity, emails, invoicing
• Secure a neighbour to feed and water our cat while we're away
• Pay our nanny ahead of time
• Go to the bank, go to the post office, go to the drugstore
• Pack...for me, for the kids, for the family
• Mow the lawn.  I started but the %^*&! mower kept stalling on me today
• Tidy the house so said neighbour won't be tripping over toys in the hallway

I'm sure I'll get it done. It always gets done.  But I'm stressed anyway. It seems like the summer's whirling by so quickly and yet we haven't done much in terms of vacation, swimming, outings, or summer-related activities.  I don't know if it's the rain, my new freelance writing projects, our busy birthday party/BBQ/sports schedules or what but I want to grab summer by the shoulders and say: slow down and wait for me!

The Life You Longed For

I can't get this book out of my head.  Last night, I started to read The Life You Longed For by Maribeth Fischer.  It's the latest selection chosen by the women in my book club. I've been neglecting both the club and the books for a few months now and decided it's time to get back on the literary highway. 

I'm glad I did. This work of fiction, though tough to read -- I stayed up late and with teary, tired eyes, made it through half the book -- is imaginative and compelling.  The main character, Grace, is a mother of three and her youngest child is diagnosed with a life-threatening illness. Worse, Grace is hit with an allegation of Munchausen syndrome by proxy.  I don't want to give away too much here (although the above is available in the book's summary). Suffice it to say, Maribeth Fischer paints a vivid picture of a vulnerable, frightened, grieving mother who's in the thick of a devastating situation.

With the protagonist, Grace, around my age and the youngest character (the little boy who's ill) about the same age as my daughter, I identify with the story and the characters. However, as a mother, I can't imagine what it's like to have a child with a terminal illness or to be accused of something as horrific as Munchausen's syndrome by proxy.  I may have to sneak away from my computer today to read the last harrowing chapters of this book.

Feeling Hot Hot Hot

Okay, so we all know this is a hot summer. With above-average temps and rainfall, summer here in Toronto has been moist and steamy. However, even with abundant rain, I do worry about my kids getting dehydrated. I'm one of those moms who insists they always wear hats outside and drinking lots of water -- especially during the summer months.

Knowing how much fluid our two-year-old and our five-year-old should drink is a bit of a mystery though. Our son, Kash, like me, seems to be thirsty all the time, while our daughter, Lily, like my husband, can go for hours without wanting a drink. Odd! I spoke with Mary Bamford, a registered dietitian, about what types of drinks are best and how much they should drink each day.

According to Mary:

• Water is the healthiest way to get most of our fluids each day. Canada’s Food Guide recommends that most of our fluids come from water and at least 2 cups of fluid milk each day.
• The general professional guideline is up to a ½ cup of juice per day is appropriate [for toddlers and children]. However there are always exceptions. On a hot summer day, toddlers and children are at greater risk of becoming dehydrated and having a flavoured beverage increases spontaneous drinking.
• The adequate intake of fluid for 4-8 year-old boys and girls with light activity and clement temperatures (~20 deg C) is 5 cups (1.2 liters) per day from beverages. More is needed on a hot summer day. More is needed with physical activity.
• Supervision of fluid intake is essential for children because they do not instinctively drink enough fluid to replace water losses.
• There is no "tolerable upper limit" [i.e. too much] for fluids in the healthy population. You know you are drinking enough when your urine is the colour of lemonade and too little when it is the colour of apple juice.

I hope you find these guidelines useful.  I still go with my gut, have the kids sit in the shade and rest, bring water bottles (and juice boxes -- just in case) wherever we go and offer the crew liquids every hour or so just to remind them to drink. Bottoms up!

Related information:

Healthy Foods for Growing Children: Feeding Your Toddler

Common Ailments

Freedom of expression in the blogging world

The other day, someone left a negative comment on this blog.  The poster listed her name as "Anonymous" and said something like, "The ParentsCanada.com homepage says that in this blog you'll be able to relate to my parenting challenges. But I always know who my kids' friends are and I stay home with them and don't have a nanny so I can't see how that's true." Yikes. I ended up deleting that comment but wish I hadn't done that. 'Anonymous' is entitled to her opinion and, even though the comment stung, I can see where she's coming from. 

Her comment was in reference to my blog post entitled "Two's The Charm". I write something like, "During my daughter's birthday party, I was able to meet a few of Lily's new friends and parents that we'd not met before." You see, because we have a nanny who's befriended other nannies in the 'hood, Lily does have a group of tiny tots that she sees almost every day.  Many of them have been here to our house or I've met them elsewhere but I can't say I know them all.  I trust our nanny and feel like as long as Lily is safe and happy and I know where they are, I have to let go and believe that our nanny's taking good care of her.  It's like dropping your child off at daycare: after doing initial research and interviews, you have to trust that the caregivers are doing their job.

I felt slighted and hurt by the comment but, like I said, Anonymous should feel free to express her opinion. What do you think? Should we know all of our kids' friends and their parents when they are young? Are there any exceptions to that rule?

ENJO? ENYA? It's all about clean.

My son's friend's mom has this bumper sticker with the word "ENJO" on it and I always wondered what that meant. Is it 'Enya' spelled in a different language? Is it a cool new Swedish expression? I finally found out after asking the mom in question, Judy, that ENJO is actually an Austrian company that sells special fibre-based, environmentally-friendly cleaning products.

To better understand the company's philosophy and products, you can check out the web site, Enjo Canada. I found the site itself not very user-friendly, but there's a demo video clip on it that's pretty intriguing. You see, I'm learning from various experts and organizations that many North Americans seem to be brainwashed into thinking that we need toxic chemicals to clean and sanitize our homes and businesses. If the ENJO product-demonstration and literature is any indication, what we should be using instead are substances that are actually much safer to us, our kids and the enviroment. Many of these substances are also more cost-effective and leave behind much less waste and garbage than their popular counterparts.

I tried out some of the ENJO fibre samples and was impressed with the results. I'd like to clean with them a bit more and speak with a health or environmental expert to satisfy my cynical side but, overall, these products seem like a viable and smart alternative to cleaning with expensive, toxic chemicals.

Here's a quick Q&A with mom entrepreneur Judy Benson-Jones about her work as an ENJO direct sales consultant.

Q: Please describe your business.

A: My business is in direct sales which allows me to work my own hours so I can be home with my 5 year old son. I teach people how to clean without using chemicals.  ENJO’S fibres clean using only water and are 6 times more effective than chemicals.   

Q: How and why did you start? Where are you located?

A: I am based in Toronto and travel throughout the GTA. I also have clients as far as Ottawa, Barrie and even in the U.S. I became involved with ENJO when I met the Canadian distributor at a networking function.  When I first heard about it, I was intrigued and wanted to hear more. Since the arrival of my son I have become so much more aware of the dangers of household chemicals and also the damage the products we use are doing to the environment.  This was something that just made sense to me.

Q: What’s the best part about being a mom entrepreneur? And, the worst?

A: The best part is being in a home office and choosing the hours I work.  The worst part is feeling like there aren’t enough hours in the day to get everything done that I’d like.  My presentations are generally on weekends and evenings and it can be difficult to be out 3 or 4 nights a week.  But I balance that by being home with my son through the day, being able to take him to school and pick him up every day.

Q: How does it feel to have your own business? What have you learned?

A: It feels great to have my own business.  Having something that you are totally responsible for is very exciting and empowering. I have learned that I can keep my business organized, I can do some basic accounting and I can be a responsible leader.   

For more info on ENJO products and/or to ask Judy questions, you can email: jbjones@enjo-canada.com.  Looking for info on a related topic? Check out: Safety in the Home: How Can I Prevent Poisoning?

 

Universal Child Care Plan -- Payments resume!

This morning I received a statement in the mail explaining that monies had been deposited in my account via the Universal Child Care Benefit. My family had experienced a stall in these payments because I was late to file my tax return -- the government craftily ties payments to tax returns so, if you haven't filed, you aren't receiving this benefit.

As you probably know, Canada's Universal Child Care Plan "helps families balance work and family responsibilites" by offering a set amount of money per child to go towards daycare and/or activites for kids who have a parent staying at home. The government literature states that, "the other part of the Plan supports provinces, territories, and businesses to create new child care spaces across Canada." Whether this will work or not, I don't know. However, it's great to have a little bit of extra dough coming in to help us pay for classes and programs or care for our two young kids.

You need to register and apply for the Benefit via this Canada Revenue Agency web page: http://www.cra-arc.gc.ca/uccb/ and you can find out more about the program and its benefits by visiting: http://www.universalchildcare.ca.

How do you feel about the Universal Child Care Benefit?

Parents of Children with Special Needs - Unite!

I've had a few moms and dads approach me about starting a section on our ParentTalk Forums for parents of children who have special needs.

One such parent is Jodi.  She hails from a town in Ontario, has a son who is diagnosed as being globally delayed and is our brand new moderator for the new Parents of Children with Special Needs section and for the entire talk board.  Please join Jodi and other parents to introduce yourself, share your stories, offer support and celebrate milestones. If you're not a member, you can join via the ParentsCanada homepage or use the link on the Forums. 

As an added bonus: Here's the link for our Parent & Tot summer reading contest.

Happy Friday!

Two's the charm

Our little Lily turned two years old this past Saturday.  We had her birthday party at a local community centre. Besides being a lot less organized than we usually are (think work deadlines, parties galore and the usual life stuff), the party turned out great.

My friend R. did me a favour and was a terrific preggo princess who provided entertainment.  R. donned an old bridesmaid's dress, put on her faux tierra and did her best to convince the 12 or so children that she was, in fact, a princess.  Most of the kids weren't buying it but some of the older girls and boys enjoyed trying on the mystical costumes, playing "princess secrets" i.e. broken telephone, volleying the balloons around and, of course, eating the chocolate-vanilla cake!

I was a little concerned that our son wouldn't be inclined to let his little sister have all the attention but, I gotta hand it to him: Kash was very good about showering his little sister with love and affection and letting her enjoy her day.  Of course, we made sure Kash got his own lootbag, received the second slice of cake, and was included in the games.

It was great to meet some of Lily's friends' parents, at the party.  Our nanny has befriended other nannies in the 'hood and often Lily has new friends that I don't even know! I make sure to ask our nanny lots of questions and encourage her to invite the kids and their nannies over to our house to play so I can meet and get to know them but, in the interim, I'm glad Lily's able to socialize with kids her own age who live in our area.

Happy Birthday, Lily! Even when you bestow one of your drama-meltdowns on us, or won't easily go to bed like your big bro, you're still the sweetest, most loving, funniest toddler in the world. xoxo

Interview with Mom Entrepreneur and Mini Me Books creator

Beautiful new mom, Sheri Allain, shares insight and background on the birth of her new company, Mini Me Books.

Q: How did Mini Me Books get started and what exactly is a "Mini Me" book?

A: We publish personalized children's books that let you combine your favourite family photos into the story. So you (or your child) become the star of the story - literally.

How did we get started? Well, as new parents, my husband and I took hundreds of digital photos of our new baby daughter. I was going to create a photo book online to capture the best pictures, but it seemed like a lot of time and effort (something new moms don't have). At the same time, I was reading parenting literature and taking classes -- they all mentioned the importance of early reading to stimulate your baby’s language development. One night, I had a thought: wouldn't it be great to merge the best of both worlds?

Q: I hear Hollywood's already interested in your product.

A: Yes, before we even launched, Mini Me Books scored a small victory by being selected for a celeb VIP swag bag. The event was a celebrity fundraiser supported by Nicole Richie, with other celeb mommies like Gwen Stefani in attendance. Our most recent ‘win’ was the "Best Product" award by Orca Communications.

Q: What's the best thing about being a mom entrepreneur and running your own business?

A: I enjoy the mental stimulation and rewards of doing something positive - for myself (being my own boss!), my family (providing extra income) and for the greater community (our book is very family-positive and it's printed on enviro-friendly paper).

Q: What's the worst or hardest thing about it?

A: Sometimes it's scary not having a partner(s) to share the risk and the work load. And my expenses are growing faster than my sales!

Q: What advice would you give to other mom (or dad) entrepreneurs?

Answers:

• Do your market research: Is the idea viable? Who are your competitors? What makes your different AND better?
• Don't be afraid to ask other people for advice, input, and ideas. It yields great ideas and business contacts.
• Don't take rejection or setbacks personally, dust yourself off & try again.
• Be patient & persistent.
• Be lean in the beginning with your budget & marketing plans.

Q: Do you have plans to expand?

A: Yes! I would like to create more book titles. Also, I would like to expand into other personalized gifts, such as puzzles, playing cards, and greetings cards. I think even an 'everyday' gift is more special when it is personalized with your special someone's likeness.

For more info, visit: MiniMeBooks.com

Top 10 Things For New Moms - Part Deux

So, here's part two of the Top 10 'Things' That New Moms Need.  Even though my kids are only 5 and 2 (tomorrow - Happy Birthday, Lily!) pregnancy and giving birth seems like ages ago.

I put up a poll on ParentsCanada.com's sister site, CanadianBride.com, asking what members there thought was most necessary for new mamas.  Here are the results:

• 23% answered "sleep"
• 11% answered "family help"
• 38% answered "nutritious food"
• 4% answered "post-partum doula"
• 8% answered "breastfeeding assistance"
• 15% answered "patience"

So, to finish off the original Top 10 list...

5. Internet.  This may be controversial choice but it goes along with "connection."  For those days where you can't get out of the house, chatting with other mommies on blogs or forums or just by email can be very beneficial.

4. Helpful partner. If your husband/boyfriend/life partner can be understanding and supportive, you're halfway there. I'm lucky that my husband is super-involved with our kids and helped me to cuddle, change, feed(save for breastmilk of course), walk, dress, etc. etc. our kids. I'm not sure what I would have done without him.

3. Sleep. Worth mentioning again and again!

2. Stroller. I'm trying to stay away from mentioning specific material items but one (or two) good, solid strollers is absolutely crucial for new moms. I had a trendy but not user-friendly stroller with our first babe and found it stressful trying to get him in and out of the darn thing. For second babe, we bought a used Gracco stroller and found it MUCH better.

1. Faith. In the middle of the night, when you're exhausted and sore, it's hard to keep your cool.  But, new moms: have faith.  Things will get easier.  Take a deep breath, ask for help when you need it, and realize that your newbie will be 2 or 3 or 10 years old before you know it.