Great Expectations

This book came to me a few weeks ago and I've been reading it on and off since then.  Originally I thought: why would I want to read tales of labour, birth, pregnancy and new motherhood when I'm finally on the outer cusp of that (intense) period in my life?  However, Great Expectations: Twenty-Four True Stories about Childbirth, edited by Dede Crane and Lisa Moore, is a collection of emotional, funny, heart-wrenching memoirs and anyone who is interested in parenthood or who loves a good read will be moved.

I've not yet read all of the twenty-four stories included in this book but certain paragraphs and experiences from the stories I have read, stand out.  In Congratulations! It's A Toaster, Caroline Adderson offers a witty take on the matter of maternity wear: "My clothes no longer fit, and I had to dip into that green garbage bag of pastel hand-me-downs passed on by friends and friends of friends. This garbage bag of unflattering, out-of-style maternity wear is as much a fact of pregnancy as edema and Braxton-Hicks contractions, and receiving it, a rite of passage." Anyone who's been pregnant likely relates to that sentiment.

In Earth Mother, Joan Clark writes about her four births - two healthy baby boys, one baby who subsequently dies from encephalitis and the adoption of her baby girl.  As a new mother in the 1960s, Clark's transformation into a "mother bear" surprises her: "The ferocity of maternal love took me by surprise.  It was visceral, primeval." She also shares shocking stories about "medieval labour rooms" and a horrifying comment from one doctor about her deceased son.

Curtis Gillespie writes about childbirth from a man's perspective in Helpless. When his wife's second pregnancy goes awry, he ponders the role of men and fathers in the birthing process: "Men are just hangers-on, basically, delivery-room roadies...it's all going to go ahead whether he is there or not, whether he is supportive or not, whether he displays his caring and sensitivity and massage skills and ice-chip skills...that baby is coming out of that woman now, today and nothing's going to change that."

If you're looking for an excellent read or want to buy a meaningful gift for the mother- or father-to-be, definitely consider this book. Great Expectations is $21.95 CDN and can be ordered online through the link at the top [search on the publisher's web site] or in bookstores.

Dude, what's in your chocolate milk?

My sweet baby is growing up. As a modern-day mom, I try not to use the term "terrible twos" but, uh, it's just so fitting sometimes.  Our Lily has gone from a very friendly, sweet, and agreeable babe to a very opinionated, sometimes stubborn, and often confident toddler. 

Most of the time, my husband and I (and even Kash) find Lily's new determination fascinating and amusing.  I enjoy watching her express her opinion and understand that this is an important developmental phase. However, after a few dozen "LEELEE DO IT" conversations, my already limited patience is shot. After taking a deep breath, I pull out my bag o' tricks. Negotiate? "If you let Mommy put on your socks you can watch Dora" or give her choices: "Would you like the pink cup or the blue cup?" Sometimes these tactics work and sometimes they don't. I admit that I hate seeing Lily cry or get upset and she still seems too young for time-outs.  What's a parent to do?

I think we were harder (and probably more consistent) with Kash. As our first child and a guy who's extremely active and somewhat mischievious, we agonized on the right way to approach those terrible...er...'terrific' twos. Negotiate? Insist? Punish? Distract? Joke? Of course, we ended up doing (and continue to do) all of these things.  It seems this is one of the tricks to parenting that no one tells you ahead of time: you've got to assess each situation, trust your gut and your wits and react accordingly.  Each kid is different, each situation is different, and so much depends on the day, too.

So, next time Lily insists on taking off off her own shoes (for an agonizing 5 minutes per foot), I'll take another deep breath, smile and encourage her to go for it.

To snip or not to snip

Part of my job as online editor for ParentsCanada.com is to moderate our ParentTalk forums.  I'm pleased to see that more parents (and parents-to-be) are joining in the conversation - the forums are busy these days. 

Today I came across one thread on the subject of circumcision. It gets pretty heated as this topic will always be controversial: mix newborns + medical treatments + religion = you'll get a passionate debate flowing.  Until I read this thread and a related article on ParentsCanada.com, I didn't know that circumcision was no longer covered under many provincial health plans.  That fact, coupled with new info on the process and the possible outcomes makes this decision a tough one for many people. 

My husband and I thought about this very carefully before our son was born (in fact it's one of the reasons we decided to find out our baby's gender even though we always knew in our hearts he was a boy) and there was some debating between our family members, too.  In an effort to maintain our son's privacy, I won't divulge our final decision but it's safe to say we're pleased with it.

What do you think?

Putting the 'fun' back in fundraising?

It's only October and already my school-aged son is selling three different products for public school and Beavers.

As a school fundraiser, he (read: me) is selling magazine subscriptions at discounted prices; a portion of each sale goes to the school for extracurricular activities, BBQs, special speakers, field trips, etc.  As a magazine junkie and someone who's quite computer-savvy, this fundraiser's not too much of a stretch: I purchased magazine subscriptions online for myself, my husband, our kids, my parents and some friends (as holiday gifts).  It was quick and easy and the discounts were quite substantial. Still, we received the magazine sales package with its, "Be excited about reading!" and "Your purchase helps support our schools!" verbiage at the very beginning of the school year - perhaps in the first week.  Is this how we're bolstering education - by having five-year-olds lug fundraising packs home to tired parents?

At Beavers, which again only began in September, Kash is selling flavoured popcorn in large tins (which looks divine!) at fairly hefty prices. This one has me even more confused: we're paying for this activity (Beavers is Boy Scouts for young kids by the way), and he only attends once a week for one hour.  So, why do these little guys and girls (again, meaning me and my husband) have to fundraise? I understand the need for more cash and I understand the need to teach children about raising money for charity but I can't say I'm behind all of these endeavours. I'd rather have Kash and his classmates go on fewer trips and attend fewer special events if it means less selling.  Besides, we can only ask our neighbours, parents, friends and colleagues to buy so much stuff. 

So, um, anyone wanna buy some chocolate-covered popcorn? Only $30.

Healthy Halloween - an oxymoron?

Lianne Philipson-Webb, ParentsCanada.com's Family Nutritian Expert, shares her rather original: Top 10 Tips for a Healthier Halloween...

1) After carving the pumpkin, keep the seeds and try baking them in the oven with a bit of coconut oil and a sprinkle of sea salt.  Or if you still want to fry, use coconut oil in the frying pan as an alternative to butter.      

2) Start a new tradition of giving out small toys to your trick-or-treaters. 

3) Give out dried fruit for a more nutritious treat. Suggestions include:  boxes of raisins, fruit leather strips, or small packages of trail mix.  Most kids really like nuts and raisins. (Of course parents have to be on the lookout for food allergies.)

4) Break the tradition of candy handouts and give out fruit, either as individual sealed cups or those new “squeeze tubes.”

5)  Check your local health food store for natural lollipops - Yummy Earth is great. There are also fruit gums that use natural colouring as opposed to unnatural food dyes.

6)   Juice boxes are a perfect handout this Halloween.  Look out for Kiju organic juices [more nutritious than regular juice and they're Canadian].  Visiting Batman or Dora will have something handy to quench their thirst as they walk the neighbourhood. 

7)  How about granola bars?  They’ll be perfect to pack for school snacks (peanut free only for most schools) and you’ll get great comments back from teacher and caregivers.

8)  Remember that sugar can slow the immune system for a period of hours. With the cold season upon us, this is a good time to suggest to kids that they eat their candy collection in moderation.  Even if they don’t completely agree, you are planting [nutritious!] seeds in their minds.  Talk about what is going to happen before you go out... one treat a day or the limit that you feel is right.  Let the kids choose their favourites and put the rest away.  Out of sight = out of mind. [Editor’s note: let's hope those lurking mini choco bars are out of parents’ minds, too.]
 
9) Although this is not food related, remember that face paint often contains toxic chemicals that can harm little bodies or cause rashes. Keep an eye and consult your doctor if needed.

10) And finally, if little tummies are not handling the overload of sugar, give 'em some probiotics or acidophilus to not only boost the immune system, but help boost the friendly bacteria in their digestive systems. 

For a quick street safety guide, check out this article.

Pie. Politicians. Pumpkins.

Last night, we returned from Ottawa where we celebrated Thanksgiving with my family. There were no over-stuffed tummies or tryptophan-induced afternoon snoozes.  We worked hard to get the orange-and-garlic glazed turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, broccoli and wine ready but with two active kids around, who has time to sit down for a long leisurely meal?! I think we were up from the table in less than 30 minutes.  Ah well, at least we had some pie from The Big Apple near Cobourg - fresh, flaky and delicious! [Note: I was going to link to their web site here.  Do they have one? If they do, I can't find it.]

After a very long and traffic-heavy drive back to the Toronto, I'm back at work (in our dining room today).  I'm enjoying the peace and quiet but there's a little voice singing in my head: "Don't forget to vote!" To be honest, I can't figure out who to vote for.  The economy's shaky, property taxes are rising, the kids' part-time daycare really eats into my income, and our savings are ???? but I do believe in Canada's social safety net and the situation in the U.S. right now proves that taking care of one's neighbours is the  right thing to do.  Still, I'm not sure where my "X" will land today.

In Halloween news, I think the kids have finally settled on their costumes. Kash is cool with his latest and greatest superhero costume but Lily's still chirping about her various picks: "I be..." Sleeping Beauty, a scary, scary ghost, Dora, baby tiger, frog, alligator, etc. etc. So, Jay went out and got them both costumes in an effort to avoid the "I looked all over town but they're out of XYZ costume everywhere" scenerio.  Now it's time to dig out the funky skeleton for the front door, pick out a giant pumpkin, grab the fake spiderwebs and move on to the next fall fest.  Boo!

Amanda's Lemonade Stand

As a working parent I'm constantly juggling work-life-kids-home-friends and know so many others who feel the same way. Wake-up, make breakfast, dress, play, cuddle, drop-off kids, work, pick-up kids, work, play, housework, dinner, activities, bills, clean-up, friends, holiday/travel/celebration planning, bed. Sound familiar? Even kids sometimes feel stretched with school, homework, friends, activities and chores. So, what's a busy mom, dad or child to do when it comes to volunteering and making a difference? If you're feeling overwhelmed and need a little inspiration, read on.

Amanda Belzowski is an (almost) 11-year-old girl who took charge of her family's lemonade stand which was started to raise money for the Heart & Stroke Foundation. Ten years later, Amanda's Lemonade Stand is now an annual event drawing thousands of people to her home in north Toronto each spring and raising thousands of dollars for children through the Foundation. Here's a Q&A with Amanda who will soon be receiving a Super Citizen Award from TVO Kids.

Q: You've helped to raise over $102,087.18 to date. Do you know how that's helped the Heart & Stroke Foundation?

  A: Well, you know what - I think it¹s really helped a lot because I've not only raised a lot of money but I've also raised awareness that heart attacks and strokes don't only happen to adults but kids too...I know that this cause is important because a few years ago a man who had just had a heart attack not too long ago came up to me and told me that if I didn¹t do what I was doing, he might not be here. I felt really good about that.

Q: Do you find the process invigorating or exhausting - or both?

A: I think that preparing and getting ready for the lemonade stand is all part of the excitement. Sure it can be a bit challenging at sometimes but it's all really fun. I feel really grown-up and professional because of what I do. I go into businesses and make proposals asking for corporate sponsors. I find that getting ready for the big day is all really fun and exciting. My lemonade stand is very special because there's no overhead. All the stuff is donated totally and I feel really good about that but it takes a lot of work and asking. Of course this also would be very hard without all of the wonderful volunteers that
come out to help, usually from high school for community service hours. It's great that a kid in elementary school can help out kids in High School.

Q: What's your plan for the future? Keep running your booth as long as possible or altering it in some way?

A: Well this year, since my brother is two and a half, I think it's time to give him a bigger role in this. Last year he ate tons of the cookies instead of giving them out. I started this when I was just a little younger than him and so it's time that he starts really helping too. Of course I¹ll keep doing my lemonade stand and adding more stuff to it. I hope to get some corporate sponsors, since I tried really hard last year but couldn't get any. For this year, what I'm going to do is have Amanda's 11th Lemonade Standand Joshua's 1st Cookie Corner. I think this will give him the opportunities to really start being the fundraiser that I¹ll hope he¹ll be someday. Next year we are going to aim high again and "Double Up". We are going to try to bring my grand total to $200,000 - you cant reach the moon if you don't stretch up high - just everybody help me this year and I know I can do it!!

Q: What have you learned through your 10 years of fundraising?

A: I've learned that you're Never Too Little to Make a Big Difference in this World. Everyone can do something great if they put their heart, soul and mind into it. No matter how small or young you are, you can make this world a better place. Look at me! I started when I was 2!

Q: What advice to you have for young fundraisers and volunteers?

A: Put your heart and soul and brains into it. You can do anything you want to do! One small act of kindness can make a gigantic difference in someone¹s life. I think that the key to fundraising is to have fun. Do something that you love and believe in and you'll succeed in whatever you want to do in
life.

One final note from Amanda: Also, this year I really want to come out to schools and other groups to
tell people about what I have done and to help them and motivate them to do the same thing. If anyone out there is interested in having me come out and talk to their school [or group] please contact me at: amandaslemonade@sympatico.ca.

And the winner is...sleep.

We had over 950 people enter the ParentsCanada.com "New Mom Survival Kit" contest. The winner's been notified! I'm pleased at the interest of course but also at the answers to the contest form question: "What's the number one thing new moms most need?" 

What do you think the #1 response is?...

Why, it's "sleep" of course. About 90% of entrants included sleep as the most important thing for new moms.  I concur.  We had some varied and detailed responses too, like, "support from friends and family members" and "someone to come over and do laundry" and "patience and understanding." From my experience and that of friends, new moms are almost always overwhelmed by sheer exhaustion as well as pain from delivery or c-section, leaky breasts, sore ribs, and a variety of other tender bits.  I know I felt completely different than I thought I would: after a 24-hour labour resulting in a last-minute c-section, I was traumatized.  Luckily, breastfeeding went rather well but the emotional roller-coaster was not the thrill a minute it was billed to be!

The second time around was easier in that I knew what to expect but the pain and the emotional highs and lows still showed their complicated heads (along with a big brother who wasn't entirely eager to share our, uh, crib). Suffice it to say that support, sleep, help with the laundry, help with the pain, help with ANYTHING is always appreciated by new moms. 

What helped you most and/or what are you adding to your own new mom survival kit?

Bag o' Nature

I discovered Naturebag while surfing the 'net. With two little kids, acres of parkland around us and entirely too much temptation to watch television, this earth-friendly assortment o' goods strikes me as a great option for entertainment: enviro-happy, useful, TV-free, educational and conceived by two Vancouver-based moms.

The Naturebag "kit" comes in a Fair Trade organic-cotton bag and includes: a recycled pencil, soy-based crayons, binoculars, recycled notepaper, a bug box and other neat stuff. Naturebag costs about $30.00 and can be purchased via the web site and through a few retail stores in the B.C. area.

Here's a quick Q&A with mom entrepreneurs, Katharine Byers and Sylvie de Sousa of Naturebag Eco-Activities Ltd.

Q: Tell me about your business.

A: Naturebag is all about reconnecting children and their families with nature. The company was born from a desire to provide children with the means to explore and engage with the natural world. The activity booklet and tools guide the user through outdoor hands on activities designed to encourage curiosity led explorations and respect for the natural world.

Q: Why or how did it start? Where are you located?

A: It started over a coffee: two friends reconnecting after our paths hadn't crossed for a while. The conversation turned to a book we had both recently read called 'Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children from Nature Deficit Disorder' by Richard Louv. It soon became clear to both of us that we could do something to encourage children to engage with the natural environment. My background in the UK as a primary school teacher, Masters in Environmental Education coupled with Sylvie's business degree and our experience as parents with young children all contributed to the birth of Naturebag. We are located in Vancouver, B.C.

Q: How does it feel to have your own business? What have you learned?

A: It feels that all of our experience to date has been channelled and focused resulting in the realization of a long time passion to contribute towards encouraging more families to engage with nature. We have learned so much! For example: setting up and maintaining a website, understanding the accounting and legal sides of the business; we have taught ourselves the process of importing and learned that you can have so much fun doing something you really love.

Check out their web site if you have a chance. It's very user-friendly, colourful, and full of interesting testimonials and useful suggestions.